How to get over fear of colonoscopy?

I'm 48 yo and my mom is 68 and has had polyps removed from her colon when she was in her 50's. My gastrointestinal Dr wants me to have a colonoscopy but I refuse. I know I need to do this but I just can't get over the fact that I'm not in control when I have this done. I know that sounds crazy but that's how feel. I can't stand the fact I'm not in control with what is happening to me. Also, I'm just not shure I can do the prep. I mean, 36 hours without solid food? And the embarrassment of having a Dr putting something up my bum and the embarrassing gas after the procedure. Can anybody give me advice on getting over this? And please! No smart remarks like 'Man up', I don't need that.